You know what, Chinie was right. I haven’t been posting lately, though I have so many things I wanted to write about, because I feel like they’re not blog post worthy or they’d just rather stay hidden on my mind, only to be recollected during shower time, or any other alone time that I’m not bugged by my toddler.
I remember having multiple diaries when I was younger. It was sort of an outlet, aside from my friends. It was of course a different kind of outlet, because you know, you don’t feel afraid of being judged because you only have yourself as your audience, so you start writing your heart out.
Before I started this blog, I was very active in my other account; commenting here and there, and following almost every blog that I stumble upon. I even tried resurrecting it to a mommy blog. I didn’t want to delete my past posts, no matter how shallow they seemed to me now, because they reminded me of how naive I was before. In fact, most of the things I’ve written there were rants! Rants about work. About love. About life in general. But guess what, even if they were just that, rants, I couldn’t have remembered going through that phase some six or seven-ish years ago if I haven’t written about it.
I have multiple notebooks at home, some were gifted to me, and some I bought for myself, for the purpose of (yep, you guessed it right), journaling. But they were never put to good use. In fact, I unearthed a blank notebook from six years ago while searching for colored papers. It was covered with stickers, so I figured it must have been saved to be a journal.
With the entry of instagram, where I share most of my innermost thoughts (which were mostly about motherhood lately), I’ve written less and less. I mean, I don’t want to share about how crappy life sometimes is with a two-year old. Or how frustrating being without a helper is. I don’t want to share about how anxious I was lately. I want to write about them ONCE I get over them. But when will that be? So Chinie was right, no matter what I am going through right now, I must write it down, and ride it out.