Sweating over the small stuff.

The other night, my husband and I had a little argument over a very petty thing. It really was no big deal but we both fussed about it. It was a normal night. He came home at almost 10PM, drenched in rainwater. He uses the bicycle when he comes home at 7PM for his lunch. I have just finished sterilizing Clark’s bottles and noticed that two of the caps are missing. I didn’t ask him immediately about but it wasn’t off my mind either.

I saw him getting excited about a chili product he has been looking for for months and cooked the bola-bola mixture we have at the fridge. He didn’t even asked me to cook which was a good thing because I would have erupted with anger right there and then. I continued with simple cleaning tasks I have on my mind before going to sleep. Also, while washing the dishes, I have also watched an episode of a Netflix series that he introduced to me.

After cooking, he got in front of the TV and started eating and watching the series. I don’t know if it’s just the hormones but I really really don’t like the smell of the chili sauce. I still didn’t confront him about it and continued with my cleaning.

When he noticed that I wasn’t paying watching the TV, he then asked me if I had already seen the episode, with a note of a little anger on his voice. And I erupted there and then. Our exchange went on like this:

Husband: Wala naman ka nagtan-aw. Nagtan-aw naka ani noh??

Me: Oo. Ngano man diay?? Mag-unsa man daw ko sa pipila ka oras na maghulat ko sa imoha? Unsay gusto nimo makigsabay gyud kos imo unya dugay na sad ko makatulog? Maayo man ka pwede ka magdugay ug mata. Unya ako? Akoa pa gyud tanan inig ka buntag.

At this point, I really didn’t hear or remember if he said anything. All I ever thought about was how frustrated I was with the chili sauce and missing bottle caps.

Me: Ang mga taklob sa beberon asa naman sad? Ipanglabay ko na gyud na ba. Maski unsaon ug alaga ug hipos mao ra gihapon mangawala. Pila na ka bote akoang gitago ba kay walay taklob. Ang kaning chili paste nimo oh igawas kay baho kaayo.

Husband: *brought his chili sauce outside* Unsa pa man??

Me: Magsuko-suko ka karon? Mura kag buang.

Husband: Ikaw ray murag buang. Para taklob lang. Di mamalit ta.

Me: Mamalit na nuon ug taklob. Maglisod gani tag palit ug nipple kana na hinuong taklob.

*Silence*

While lying down to sleep, I thought I will not cook or do anything for him in the morning. I will not prepare Clark’s things and let him do it all in the morning. I felt like he doesn’t even appreciate all the sacrifices that I do every morning just so he can have a comfortable morning.

We didn’t chat all day. I didn’t even remind him I’d be home late to visit a friend who has just given birth. It was raining very hard so I arrived home almost 10PM already. When I was inside, I noticed that there were no more toys on the floor and my son was happily eating a Cornetto cone. We didn’t greet each other. The first statement I said to him was that we needed to save a specific amount for my birth this coming December. I guess that broke the ice.

I changed changed into my clothes and he told me to continue watching the series. He went outside and started washing my son’s bottles. I didn’t know he also mopped the floor and emptied the garbage while I was watching.

Haay. I felt ashamed with what I have (or haven’t done) that morning. If I have just chose to let go and forget about our petty argument, I would have enjoyed a full breakfast and not just a stale cheese sandwich.

This morning, while cooking breakfast and lunch, I noticed that his baonan was nowhere to be found. I just decided that I will not fuss about it and they’d still eat the food I cooked whether I put it in a plasticware or dinnerware or wherever.

When a close friend got married recently, the very first thing I told her was “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. Haha! Talk about meaningless lip service. I couldn’t even do it myself. I guess I should make that a wallpaper? As sort of reminder?

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