On gratefulness

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I’ve written numerous introduction for this long overdue post about something that I feel extremely excited about but they never seemed to suit my liking (for posting, that is) because they all ended up in the trash.

Some three months ago, I gathered the courage and told B to finally buy the typical drugstore pregnancy kit because heck, I’ve missed two periods already. If I am not pregnant, then there is definitely something wrong because I’ve never missed a period. Although at the back of my mind, I am already convinced that my situation is more of the former than that of the latter but I felt the need for some physical evidence that will confirm it.

Then there it was: two faint lines. Faint, yes, but undeniably confirming that I am pregnant after all. At that time, so many thoughts came pouring into my already confused mind. Was I happy? Yes, of course. I have finally proven that I am not barren at all. Haha. Was I scared? Yes, totally. I am not at all ready. But then, who is? Was I angry? Yes. I’ve told B over and over that a baby should not be in the picture at this time.

But I do believe that the plans of the Lord are far greater and more magnificent than mine, and finally came to realize that despite the shock that the news has brought us, B and I should be grateful for this blessing.

And what a blessing this Little One is! I have almost made a terrible career move last August and if it weren’t for the tiny life developing inside of me, I would have abandoned all the thoughts of securing my future and held on to my dear pride and resigned from my position even though I do not have any job waiting for me. I just felt the need to resign. I took two steps back and thought again because it is not just me anymore. What’s more surprising is that the increase that I expected was not just doubled, but tripled!

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Getting knocked up at this time is probably not the most ideal thing for most people, especially for my mama who took the news so hard she was not able to sleep soundly for a week. For her, it is still not normal to get pregnant before getting married. Oh my poor mama. She must have been so frustrated but if I’d re-do everything, I think I still wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve never felt this strong and at ease with my body.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for this opportunity.

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